A recent post my Branden's mom had me in tears and inspired me to write this blog post. She tagged me in a video on facebook about what all Mom's would say to the woman who would one day love their son, and her caption read:
"Kate Lindsey I’m so glad that Branden Bowen found you.... his ying to his yang; his grilled cheese to his tomato soup; his frosting to his cupcake... I couldn’t have picked someone better! Thank you for loving him, for caring for him, for pushing him through the dark times and struggles, for being his rock and for loving him with all of your heart. As a mom of a son I’ve worried about the day when it was time for him to find someone to take my place in his daily life. I’m glad He found someone I love just as much as i love him!! I am so excited for the future. I’m excited to have you as a daughter and for you to be part of our family (and to have Kathy and Tommy!!😜) I LOVE YOU CUTE GIRL!! Much "
I meannnnnn. Crying. Literally. I'm so blessed to have Branden's Mom because not only do I consider her as my mom, but a friend too. Now, I have a very lucky circumstance, Natalie and I hit it off from the start and I new she was going to be super supportive and 110% Pro B+Kate. I understand this isn't always the case, or at least definitely not in the beginning, so I thought I'd share some things that helped our relationship become so close.
First impression. This is often the most nerve wrecking part of a new relationship in general- meeting the parents. Because B was raised only by his momma (and the help of his lovely aunts), I was aware of how special his bond was with her. This definitely added a little pressure but at the same time made me feel comfort knowing that he wanted me to meet her so quickly.
The best advice I have for "meeting the parents" jitters is to try and make that first meeting super casual. I was lucky enough to have that circumstance, and it was super helpful. Try not to make the first impression of eachother like a scene from hometowns on The Bachelor, because let's be honest that can be really uncomfortable and intimidating. If your only option is that sort of setting, rely on your partner to make you feel comfortable to open up as the meeting progresses.
Another thing is just to be yourself. Don't give his or her parents an impression of you that's a complete facade, then every encounter thereafter will feel like you have to play that role. This isn't Broadway and that's exhausting. They'll love you for you, because their child did and they know that!
Respect the fact that she is his/her mom. I think a lot of us forget this because it's like "duh?", but it's really important. If they have a good relationship, they're always going to talk to their mother, especially about important decisions and hard times that may occur. Of course, he should be coming to you first if you're in a serious relationship, but that doesn't mean advice from his momma is off limits, & you definitely shouldn't give him grief about it! If he's talking to her about a fight you guys had, is it because he wants advice on how to fix things? Typically, moms get it and just want to help their sons be happy, so if he's confiding in her to seek advice and guidance, then let it be.
Once you and momma have developed a real relationship, it's important that you communicate with her as well! If the hope is to some day be her daughter in law, it's crucial that you two develop a relationship that's completely separate from her son or daughter. Not only is this really important to Mom, but it just makes the whole relationship stronger because your boo with LOVE that you guys are close. This is definitely my favorite part about B's mom, we truly have our own relationship and I trust her with everything!
Do you guys have a cool relationship with your significant others' mama? Or Dad if that's the case? I wanna hear horror stories too!